Never underestimate him!

My apologies for not posting yet this month. I have been battling the flu since February 1st and the germs seemed to be winning for awhile. I'm making a strong comeback now, though!
Do you have a child who has difficulty following novel directions? My son, Josh, has ADHD and auditory processing difficulties. He has significant learning challenges and struggles to remember what he hears. He has a tendency to take things literally, with sometimes interesting results. Other times he draws the wrong conclusion and inadvertently changes the expected outcome. For example, once I found a recipe that sounded interesting. You put all the ingredients for an omelet into a sealed ziploc bag and cook it in boiling water. I thought this would be great, especially for those of us who have picky eaters, because everyone could choose which ingredients to include. My husband and I could include onions in ours, but our daughter has not yet learned to appreciate onions so she could omit them from her omelet. I compiled a few different omelet variations into separate ziploc bags and made sure they were sealed tightly. I put the water on to boil, and went into the next room to work with my daughter on a computer assignment. Josh went into the kitchen and shouted to me that the water was boiling. I asked him to carefully put the bags into the boiling water for me and to use the tongs that were sitting on the counter. Using one of his strategies, Josh requested clarification that I wanted all the bags put into the water. I confirmed that and a few minutes later went to check on my omelets. Surprise! What I found looked more like egg drop soup than omelets. At first I thought the bags must have split open while they were boiling. Then I saw the emptied bags off to the side and realized that Josh had meticulously opened each one and poured the contents into the boiling water, thus defeating the attempt to keep the ingredients separate for different omelets. Josh saw the flabbergasted expression on my face and asked if something was wrong. I explained that when I had asked him to "Put the bags into the water" I meant the entire bags. Josh said he thought about it, but that idea didn't make sense to him and he had never seen me put any bags into boiling water so he decided he was supposed to just dump everything in. I thought I had been clear in my instructions, but I told Josh I would try to be more specific in the future. He grinned at me and said, "Never underestimate my incompetence, Mom!" I love that kid and his sense of humor.

Picky Eaters and Trusting Tomatoes

It seems that most kids have their favorite foods, and other foods they think are yucky. These food preferences do not present a problem for most children, because they eat a variety of foods and can get their nutritional needs met through different foods they willingly eat. For parents of picky eaters, however, you know the challenges, frustrations, and anxiety that can occur when a child has a limited number of foods they will accept. In addition to restricting the number of food items, some children refuse to eat unless the food is presented on the same plate each time and the drink must always be in the same cup. There are children who can tell the difference between brands of food, so even if you find a food the child will eat they may refuse it if you offer a different brand. For example, a child who eats chicken nuggets might refuse to eat them unless they come from McDonalds. For some picky eaters, the shape of the food is also important. They may eat round waffles, but not even taste waffles that are square. For some picky eaters, the color of the food matters to them. My son, Josh, has come a long way with his sensory processing and has expanded his diet to include most foods. Even as a young adult, though, Josh still has moments of uncertainty when he is presented with an unfamiliar food item. Just last week we were able to harvest some of our heirloom tomatoes. These tomatoes have a great flavor, but can be unusual in their colors and shapes. Josh loves red tomatoes and will eat them the way others eat apples. When Josh saw the yellow tomato I was offering him he was taken aback. I believe his exact words to me were, "Yellow tomatoes? Why are they yellow? I don't trust yellow." Trust can be a huge factor for picky eaters. Sometimes parents try to force the child to taste new foods and their pleas and threats backfire and result in even greater resistance. This is especially true if a child thinks he might be forced to do something that is uncomfortable or aversive despite his protests. Understandably, parents are concerned about their child's diet and the need for balanced nutrition. When a child only eats a few foods day after day, it's anxiety provoking. Worse yet, some children suddenly decide that a food they have eaten regularly is now on their long list of unacceptable foods that they will no longer eat. Mealtimes can become unpleasant and a battle ground for concerned parents who are trying to get their picky eaters to just take a bite of food. If mealtimes are that difficult at home, how can you ever go out to eat or eat at a friend's house? It's frustrating and worrisome. Books such as Just Take a Bite offer suggestions and strategies to expand a child's diet. One suggestion offered is to have your child help you prepare the food. That way he can see exactly what you put in the recipe. Another tip is to work gradually toward accepting new foods. Some children react so strongly that they become distressed just seeing a food item on the table that is not on their list of acceptable foods. A goal would be for the child to tolerate the food near them, then on their plate. Even at that point, professionals don't recommend that you insist that the child eat the food. It is a gradual process, with multiple presentations of the refused food over time. It's progress if a child will allow a new food to touch his lips. I used to tell my children that they didn't have to like a food, but I did want them to at least taste it. This may be a helpful strategy for a child with few or mild food aversions, but for the more extreme picky eater it won't be adequate. This degree of resistance goes beyond what typical children do. Considering that mealtimes happen every day, multiple times, it's no wonder that parents feel desperate to help their picky eaters.