That's Just Warped

Hello readers! Many of you are familiar with my ongoing quest to help my son, Josh, get to places on time. It has been a lifelong (his life, that is!) battle and neither of us wants to concede defeat. Josh has never been on standard time, and his internal clock doesn't match any time zone that I'm aware of. We've talked (o.k., I talk and he pretends to listen) about the impossibility of leaving home at the time you are due to arrive somewhere else and actually getting there on time. Josh wants to be able to beam from one place to another like Captain Kirk from Star Trek, playing the roles of both Captain Kirk, and Scotty who activates the beaming device. It has never worked. Josh keeps hoping that somehow it will. Today, for the first time ever, Josh admitted to me that "beaming doesn't work." This is progress, right? Wrong! Because the next thing he muttered was, "I'll just warp there." AAAARGH! I told Josh, "No! Warping doesn't work either!" Josh just smiled and turned on his IPOD, saying "Listening to music now." That's his version of "Nobody's listening. La, la, la." And so the battle continues.